‘Hello, my name is Keeley, I’m 16 and I have recently converted to the catholic faith at the Easter vigil. When I was growing up, God was never a prominent part of my life as I wasn’t even sure if I believed if there was a God or not. I do not come from a traditional catholic family and neither do I attend a catholic school. I think this has made me who I am as I know it was truly my decision to pursue my faith as I had no persuasion from either my family or school friends or teachers. I’ve always thought this is the best way for me as I can see how God has truly entered my life and has not merely been pressed upon me without really understanding. My religious journey began about a year and a half ago when I turned to myself and told myself that there had to be more to life than this. I had had this nagging feeling for quite some time that we were made with a certain plan for this life, I just didn’t realise at this point that religion and God was the answer. Along with this, I also felt like a part of me was missing and that I wasn’t entirely happy with my life even though I could have many materialistic things in life. No matter what I had, I was never entirely complete. When I first thought that the missing piece of me of was religion, I knew at once that it was true. I began research into the Roman Catholic faith and the more I learnt the more I became assured that this was the way to eternal happiness.
I decided to go to mass one Saturday evening to see what it was all about and to see if it would strengthen me in my choice which I was still looking to confirm. After my first time in mass, I was definitely not left disappointed! I was left totally awestruck after seeing the beauty of the church, the sincerity and humility of the people and the solemn, powerful yet moving atmosphere around the Eucharist. I knew straight after that first mass that nothing in the world could dissuade me now. Every time I went back to mass week after week my faith grew stronger. I would always leave mass feeling fresh, new and open to the world and to God. I had never experienced anything that had this level of reverence and devotion. As I carried on attending mass, I was introduced to some really spectacular people who have been so supportive throughout my whole journey. Whenever I needed advice on anything, to ask any question or just want a chat, they were always there. They were really enthusiastic with me and this in turn boosted my confidence greatly.
I started RCIA sessions last September which introduced me to the facts, beliefs, symbolism and much more of the Catholic Church. I found this really interesting as I have a great interest for history as well. Every week I would come home having learnt so much more than I would have walked in knowing (Although some weeks, I would have learnt so much that I would come out and not be able to remember a thing!) Prayer was also a fundamental part of this journey because as I started praying every night, I realised what a powerful weapon prayer was to have in life. The beautiful thing I discovered about prayer was that no matter what had happened, no matter what I wanted to talk about, there would always be someone to listen. All the worries that I considered too trivial to be mentioned were gladly taken by God and I found this a real asset in my life.
So finally it came to the vigil. I had waited a year and a half for this and so I was full of excitement on the day. I was however quite nervous as I had a moment of sudden realisation of the impact this would have on my life. I also became abruptly aware of everything Christ did for us, he made the ultimate sacrifice for us and he and his father in heaven gave everything to us. This came with the sudden realisation that I was not worthy of the everlasting love bestowed on us by God. This was a rather daunting thought and one that was so big that I just couldn’t get my head around. When the time came for me to get baptised, I felt a sense of extreme inner peace and one that could only have been bestowed by Christ. Then, there came a sense of coming home and belonging. This was where I was meant to be. However the climax of my journey had to be receiving my first holy communion. As soon as I received it I got lost in the deepest moment of love, adoration and the true realisation of what I was doing. That moment, summed up for me, my deepest love for God, his son Jesus Christ and the church. The best way I can some up my feelings about Catholicism is through the Eucharist. It is not something that requires words. It only requires a moment of reflection, an open mind and a willingness to accept God’s love. It’s that simple and that complicated.’
Keeley Sydes, Crawley parish.
